We're still doing the unschooling thing. If it feels so good, why do I feel so guilty?
I think it's because when we do a worksheet, there is something tangible to put in a binder and check off a list. When we unschool, we almost have to have a blind faith that something is being learned. Almost.
I'm going to start journaling or listing what is learned each day, just to quiet down that little type-A voice in my head that wants order. My creative side will still be satisfied, and my up-tight side will be fed. Even though I know that the girls are learning and getting more creative every day, I can use the journaling as a tool to work in suggestions of what they might be interested in and even lay out some books for stealth learning. I'm a huge fan of stealth learning.
I am going to reintroduce math (we've taken a math break), but I'm going to incorporate some suggestions from a free-thinking friend (thanks, Christy!) to make it more enjoyable this time. I've got an abacus, and that's a big hit already. They couldn't wait to take turns with it and were making huge leaps in their understanding of basic math concepts in just a few minutes of "play" with it. We're going to try Christy's method of flower pots and glass beads next for division and multiplication.
And the journey continues...
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Sunday, May 23, 2010
High School Reunion
I've always vowed to never EVER go back for a high school reunion. Never. My brother in law is the same way. Why would I feel that way you ask? Let me explain.
My high school is getting ready for their 25th reunion, and they are begging people to just show up. They even have a Facebook page about it. "We don't care how fat you've gotten! We don't care how much money you make! We just want to see you!" Money and body weight are the least of my concerns. It's the past that is keeping me from showing up.
I don't want to go because I hated who I was in high school. I was shy, awkward, invisible, and completely miserable. I couldn't wait to leave. I was bullied, not often, but still I was bullied by certain teachers and students. These particular teachers and students were beloved by the school's "popular" students and they are still chums with each other today. Mostly I was ignored. I didn't matter to most of them. I was never invited to a party. Never. I just showed up at one party on graduation day and was completely ignored the whole night. Why do they think that would be any different now?
When I was a senior in high school, I was introduced to the Army National Guard. I found out about the National Guard when my brother had just gotten out of the Air Force and joined a local transportation unit. It was intriguing to me that I could be in the Army part time and get college money. I decided to join, but not just for the money. I was making my first step to not being ignored. I refused to stay in that box I was pushed into anymore.
Basic training was the best thing I could have done, as it shattered what I was and it grew me into the woman that I am today. I think that God leading me to the Army was the single most important thing that moved me into the direction that I am today. Thank you, God! He placed the opportunity in front of me and allowed me to see the potential of my life.
After successfully completing basic training, I stepped into college with a fresh slate. I knew I would do great academically, but now I knew that I would also do great socially. No one knew who I was and that I was supposed to be ignored. If I could survive basic training, then college would be a piece of cake. I made dozens of friends in college and hundreds more in my 22 years in the Army National Guard. The Army led me to my beloved husband. Compare that to the two friends I made in High School.
Homeschoolers are often asked about socialization. Many people think that going to a public school will make a person well rounded socially, and allow them to deal with all of life's social problems. Well, that socialization almost ruined me. I shudder to think of what my life would have been like if I had stayed where that "socialization" told me to stay.
I will happily stay at home while the other alumni go to the reunion. They can reminisce about all the good times they had. I'll reminisce about all the blessings that God gave me after high school.
Added later: When I said that I only had two friends, I meant two true friends where we did everything together. I would like to add that there are a few people whom I would also call acquaintance friends; they were nice to me during class, and were even nice to talk to during the years afterwards if we happened to meet somewhere. We just never did anything during school or after school together.
My high school is getting ready for their 25th reunion, and they are begging people to just show up. They even have a Facebook page about it. "We don't care how fat you've gotten! We don't care how much money you make! We just want to see you!" Money and body weight are the least of my concerns. It's the past that is keeping me from showing up.
I don't want to go because I hated who I was in high school. I was shy, awkward, invisible, and completely miserable. I couldn't wait to leave. I was bullied, not often, but still I was bullied by certain teachers and students. These particular teachers and students were beloved by the school's "popular" students and they are still chums with each other today. Mostly I was ignored. I didn't matter to most of them. I was never invited to a party. Never. I just showed up at one party on graduation day and was completely ignored the whole night. Why do they think that would be any different now?
When I was a senior in high school, I was introduced to the Army National Guard. I found out about the National Guard when my brother had just gotten out of the Air Force and joined a local transportation unit. It was intriguing to me that I could be in the Army part time and get college money. I decided to join, but not just for the money. I was making my first step to not being ignored. I refused to stay in that box I was pushed into anymore.
Basic training was the best thing I could have done, as it shattered what I was and it grew me into the woman that I am today. I think that God leading me to the Army was the single most important thing that moved me into the direction that I am today. Thank you, God! He placed the opportunity in front of me and allowed me to see the potential of my life.
After successfully completing basic training, I stepped into college with a fresh slate. I knew I would do great academically, but now I knew that I would also do great socially. No one knew who I was and that I was supposed to be ignored. If I could survive basic training, then college would be a piece of cake. I made dozens of friends in college and hundreds more in my 22 years in the Army National Guard. The Army led me to my beloved husband. Compare that to the two friends I made in High School.
Homeschoolers are often asked about socialization. Many people think that going to a public school will make a person well rounded socially, and allow them to deal with all of life's social problems. Well, that socialization almost ruined me. I shudder to think of what my life would have been like if I had stayed where that "socialization" told me to stay.
I will happily stay at home while the other alumni go to the reunion. They can reminisce about all the good times they had. I'll reminisce about all the blessings that God gave me after high school.
Added later: When I said that I only had two friends, I meant two true friends where we did everything together. I would like to add that there are a few people whom I would also call acquaintance friends; they were nice to me during class, and were even nice to talk to during the years afterwards if we happened to meet somewhere. We just never did anything during school or after school together.
Friday, May 21, 2010
Reprecussions of Babysitting
When I babysat last weekend for the six foster children, one bio and my own two, I was exhausted physically and emotionally at the end of the adventure. Who wouldn't after watching two year old twin boys, a three year old boy, a 7 year old boy and 10 year old girl who just found out they were never going back to their mother, a 13 year old OCD boy, and a ten year old bio boy. Babysitting is one thing, but this group of children was different. I blogged once on this, but deleted it because it was too emotionally charged.
I am happy that I was able to do this for a friend, and I'm glad that her kids did well during the weekend. Physically, the children did well. Emotionally, I think that her children did fine as well. I certainly tried to do my best to make sure that they got what they needed for the weekend and that they had a decent time. The problems were with me and my daughters: we were the basket cases.
I wear my feelings on my sleeves. I was even told this by a TAC officer during some Army training once! This weekend was no different, and I saw it in my children as well. We wore our feelings on our sleeves, pants, and underwear.
I have commanded hundreds of Army soldiers successfully. I have successfully dealt with Article 15's, counselings, staff meetings with generals. I was a store manager for several years. I hired and fired people. I had to deal with insane (literally) customers. I was responsible for hundreds of thousands of dollars of Army equipment and merchandise. Nothing prepared me for this babysitting weekend. The girls and I were not emotionally prepared for all the constant fighting, yelling, disruption, interruption, disrespect, fibbing, disobeying, and never-ending bedlam.
Sami has never dealt well with chaos, so I wasn't surprised when she shut down while we were babysitting. I felt bad for her and helped her through it. I just kept her by my side the whole time to help her feel safe. Honestly, I felt exactly the same way and wanted someone to comfort me. I watched Megan, but she just played and did fine and held her own. It turns out that she just put up a great front. The second I started the truck engine to go home, Megan started bawling because she was so happy to leave. She cried most of the way home, and we have a 45 minute trip. I felt horrible putting my children through this. I made a choice to put myself through this, but my children were not given a choice.
I naively thought that this would be a learning experience for my children. I thought that there would be a little chaos but that we would smooth over the bumps as they came. I thought all the children would play and frolic and get along. The problem was that there were no bumps. It was a demolition derby, 24/7, for three solid days. Was it good to show my girls how other children live? I don't know. It's good to know that a stove is hot, but that doesn't mean I want them to touch the burner for three days. I honestly think that my children were emotionally damaged by this weekend and it's going to take some time to heal fully.
My friend called yesterday and asked me if I would babysit the whole weekend again sometime, and I had to tell her that I couldn't, at least not for a long time. I told her that I'm glad I could babysit this past weekend for her, but I would have to think long and hard before I would consider doing a whole weekend again. If I do, I won't take my girls. I felt bad telling her no. I like my friend and would love to be able to help her out, but I emotionally can't handle it. Anyone who knows me knows how impossible it is for me to say no, but this was so important that I just couldn't' say yes.
I always do my best at everything I do, and in this case I did my best. It just wasn't good enough.
I am happy that I was able to do this for a friend, and I'm glad that her kids did well during the weekend. Physically, the children did well. Emotionally, I think that her children did fine as well. I certainly tried to do my best to make sure that they got what they needed for the weekend and that they had a decent time. The problems were with me and my daughters: we were the basket cases.
I wear my feelings on my sleeves. I was even told this by a TAC officer during some Army training once! This weekend was no different, and I saw it in my children as well. We wore our feelings on our sleeves, pants, and underwear.
I have commanded hundreds of Army soldiers successfully. I have successfully dealt with Article 15's, counselings, staff meetings with generals. I was a store manager for several years. I hired and fired people. I had to deal with insane (literally) customers. I was responsible for hundreds of thousands of dollars of Army equipment and merchandise. Nothing prepared me for this babysitting weekend. The girls and I were not emotionally prepared for all the constant fighting, yelling, disruption, interruption, disrespect, fibbing, disobeying, and never-ending bedlam.
Sami has never dealt well with chaos, so I wasn't surprised when she shut down while we were babysitting. I felt bad for her and helped her through it. I just kept her by my side the whole time to help her feel safe. Honestly, I felt exactly the same way and wanted someone to comfort me. I watched Megan, but she just played and did fine and held her own. It turns out that she just put up a great front. The second I started the truck engine to go home, Megan started bawling because she was so happy to leave. She cried most of the way home, and we have a 45 minute trip. I felt horrible putting my children through this. I made a choice to put myself through this, but my children were not given a choice.
I naively thought that this would be a learning experience for my children. I thought that there would be a little chaos but that we would smooth over the bumps as they came. I thought all the children would play and frolic and get along. The problem was that there were no bumps. It was a demolition derby, 24/7, for three solid days. Was it good to show my girls how other children live? I don't know. It's good to know that a stove is hot, but that doesn't mean I want them to touch the burner for three days. I honestly think that my children were emotionally damaged by this weekend and it's going to take some time to heal fully.
My friend called yesterday and asked me if I would babysit the whole weekend again sometime, and I had to tell her that I couldn't, at least not for a long time. I told her that I'm glad I could babysit this past weekend for her, but I would have to think long and hard before I would consider doing a whole weekend again. If I do, I won't take my girls. I felt bad telling her no. I like my friend and would love to be able to help her out, but I emotionally can't handle it. Anyone who knows me knows how impossible it is for me to say no, but this was so important that I just couldn't' say yes.
I always do my best at everything I do, and in this case I did my best. It just wasn't good enough.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Kitten Adoption
A few weeks ago, we had a pregnant stray move in with us. After having four kittens, one died at four weeks of age, and now the others are ready for new homes.
Lily (a little gray and white girl) was the first adopted out, and as of last night she is now living with Leah and Kyler Lee (my niece and her new husband). I don't know what name she will have now, but I imagine it will be creative and have some Japanese influence. I wish we could keep all the kittens, but we just can't take care of so many cats. Good luck, Lily!
The girls handled it much better than I thought. They didn't cry at all and just petted her and kissed her good bye. When did my girls mature and grow up so much?
A friend in the Army will get Hugo, the orange boy cat. We will keep Rose, the little Calico. Now we have to get Hermione (the mother) fixed so we don't have to find more homes for more kittens!
Lily (a little gray and white girl) was the first adopted out, and as of last night she is now living with Leah and Kyler Lee (my niece and her new husband). I don't know what name she will have now, but I imagine it will be creative and have some Japanese influence. I wish we could keep all the kittens, but we just can't take care of so many cats. Good luck, Lily!
The girls handled it much better than I thought. They didn't cry at all and just petted her and kissed her good bye. When did my girls mature and grow up so much?
A friend in the Army will get Hugo, the orange boy cat. We will keep Rose, the little Calico. Now we have to get Hermione (the mother) fixed so we don't have to find more homes for more kittens!
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Relaxing Week...Until the Nuclear Explosion
At least it feels like a nuclear explosion minus the radiation burns.
The girls and I had a pretty good week. We've been taking it easy, even though we've had some errands to run and projects to complete. It's never perfect, but I'm very happy with my time spent with my girls.
Since Friday morning, I've been babysitting seven children for a friend of mine. Every single one of them is a challenge! I know I would feel that way about anyone's children besides my own, simply because I'm used to the quirks of my own children but not other kids. I love children, but until I get to know them they are a challenge to me under the best of circumstances.
Six of these kids are foster children with their own stories, from a 13 year old boy to two year old twin boys. I felt like I was in the middle of a WWF audience audition! Yelling, arguing, tattling, complaining, disrespect. I've rarely seen anything like it, but then it's been a while since I was in junior high.
I've said it a million times, but everytime I see how other people's children act, I get a whole new respect and admiration for how my own children behave. I have the best children on the face of this Earth, and I am so blessed to have them in my life. I vow to never take them or their behavior for granted again.
The girls and I had a pretty good week. We've been taking it easy, even though we've had some errands to run and projects to complete. It's never perfect, but I'm very happy with my time spent with my girls.
Since Friday morning, I've been babysitting seven children for a friend of mine. Every single one of them is a challenge! I know I would feel that way about anyone's children besides my own, simply because I'm used to the quirks of my own children but not other kids. I love children, but until I get to know them they are a challenge to me under the best of circumstances.
Six of these kids are foster children with their own stories, from a 13 year old boy to two year old twin boys. I felt like I was in the middle of a WWF audience audition! Yelling, arguing, tattling, complaining, disrespect. I've rarely seen anything like it, but then it's been a while since I was in junior high.
I've said it a million times, but everytime I see how other people's children act, I get a whole new respect and admiration for how my own children behave. I have the best children on the face of this Earth, and I am so blessed to have them in my life. I vow to never take them or their behavior for granted again.
Monday, May 10, 2010
Mother's Day
I had a great Mother's Day. Dave was able to call from Iraq, and I got to spend the day with my two lovely little ladies; it's a pleasure to be their mother and teacher.
My parents as well as my in laws came over for a cook out, and Danny even came along. I didn't get any fancy dinners out at a restaurant, but this food was much better. We finished up with a Ritter's ice cream cake (made out of frozen custard). Yum! I got a nice candle from my MIL and my kids (I wanted one really bad!) and I got to visit with my four wonderful parents.
My in laws and I went to the Flower and Herb Barn to poke around. When we got home I gave her a bunch of Hostas that I divided up. I got to mow the grass (yes, I like doing that).
All in all it was a good day!
My parents as well as my in laws came over for a cook out, and Danny even came along. I didn't get any fancy dinners out at a restaurant, but this food was much better. We finished up with a Ritter's ice cream cake (made out of frozen custard). Yum! I got a nice candle from my MIL and my kids (I wanted one really bad!) and I got to visit with my four wonderful parents.
My in laws and I went to the Flower and Herb Barn to poke around. When we got home I gave her a bunch of Hostas that I divided up. I got to mow the grass (yes, I like doing that).
All in all it was a good day!
College
I went to one of my niece's college graduation on Saturday. I've been to college and have always hoped that my own children would one day go to college, and that thought was always lurking in the back of my mind. For some reason, at this graduation ceremony, I kept thinking of my own children being in the processional of students receiving their degrees. That ceremony cemented the vision in my mind instead of it being just a passing thought.
I think that was the boost I needed so that I can focus a little more on the learning process and in turn get them focused more on the learning process. I've no doubts that they will go to college some day, and I want them to be ready. I'm still not going to cram workbooks down their throats, but I do want to ensure that they learn the learning process, and how to research, and how to seek out answer to questions.
I already try and get them to think about answers on their own, so now I will guide them to learn how to research answers on their own. That is what unschooling is about, right?
I think that was the boost I needed so that I can focus a little more on the learning process and in turn get them focused more on the learning process. I've no doubts that they will go to college some day, and I want them to be ready. I'm still not going to cram workbooks down their throats, but I do want to ensure that they learn the learning process, and how to research, and how to seek out answer to questions.
I already try and get them to think about answers on their own, so now I will guide them to learn how to research answers on their own. That is what unschooling is about, right?
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Veterinarian Week
This week we've been running the Veterinarian Gauntlet.
When I made the appointments to take the animals for their shots, the receptionist recommended that I don't take them all on the same day (that would be four cats and one dog). She was right! It was a chore just bringing just two cats at a time! She made the recommendation because people just plain old don't show up and they get "burned" for the five appointments. I think it's just too hard to bring that many at once and people give up.
Monday: Spew and Ghosty made the trip to get their shots. They were relatively easy to catch and bring, but they howled the whole way to and from the vet.
Tuesday: Black Cat and Patches turn! It was a screaming, hissing, spitting fight to get these two cats into the carriers. It was exhausting just stuffing them unceremoniously into the boxes!
Wednesday: Totoro's turn to go. He was a perfect gentleman and behaved beautifully for the vet. He and the tech complimented him on his behavior, and how it was so different than most other pugs.
The girls got a little education on veterinary care this week, and Doctor Galbreath let the girls ask him questions.
I'm glad we live only five miles away from Bean Blossom Animal Clinic.
When I made the appointments to take the animals for their shots, the receptionist recommended that I don't take them all on the same day (that would be four cats and one dog). She was right! It was a chore just bringing just two cats at a time! She made the recommendation because people just plain old don't show up and they get "burned" for the five appointments. I think it's just too hard to bring that many at once and people give up.
Monday: Spew and Ghosty made the trip to get their shots. They were relatively easy to catch and bring, but they howled the whole way to and from the vet.
Tuesday: Black Cat and Patches turn! It was a screaming, hissing, spitting fight to get these two cats into the carriers. It was exhausting just stuffing them unceremoniously into the boxes!
Wednesday: Totoro's turn to go. He was a perfect gentleman and behaved beautifully for the vet. He and the tech complimented him on his behavior, and how it was so different than most other pugs.
The girls got a little education on veterinary care this week, and Doctor Galbreath let the girls ask him questions.
I'm glad we live only five miles away from Bean Blossom Animal Clinic.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Unschooling: So Far, So Good...
I keep saying that I am an unschooler. In the beginning of homeschooling, I was about half unschool and about half traditional homeschooler. After unschooling 100% for a couple of weeks, I think that we have a winner.
I saw all my homeschooling friends using worksheets and workbooks and curriculum. The more I saw them using it, the more I started drifting towards it, and the more the kids and I were getting bogged down.
I can see us getting back to using a few workbooks and curriculum at some point in the near future. I think there is a time and place for it. For now, the unschooling is giving us all a much needed sigh of relief. No TV, no video games. They get so creative it's incredible!
I saw all my homeschooling friends using worksheets and workbooks and curriculum. The more I saw them using it, the more I started drifting towards it, and the more the kids and I were getting bogged down.
I can see us getting back to using a few workbooks and curriculum at some point in the near future. I think there is a time and place for it. For now, the unschooling is giving us all a much needed sigh of relief. No TV, no video games. They get so creative it's incredible!
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