Beating OCD

The OCD medication is continuing to work it's magic on Sami.  She's done many things this week that would have paralyzed her just a couple of weeks ago, such as walking barefoot outside, walking on the back deck barefooted, taking a bath instead of a shower, going to the zoo, using a public restroom, touching the car, wearing flip-flops, and using shower soap.  The old Sami is coming back. 

She's been doing activities on her exposures list (OCD map).  The medicine makes it easier to try the scary things, and I hope that these exposures will make her stronger for the day that she weans off the medication in the far future.

OCD and Medication...It's Working

So far, so good on the medication.  Even at the low starting dose, I can see a difference in Sami.  She wore flip-flops, she's been laying on the ground and burying herself in stuffed toys from the garage box, and she's been able to calm herself down when OCD does try to spiral out of control.  She's turning back into the pre-OCD Sami.  The OCD isn't gone, but it's more manageable. 

I know that the medication in itself is not the answer, and we'll have to continue with exposure and CBT.  The medicine has turned out to be a nice addition to our arsenal to fight OCD and get it at a reasonable level.   I just want her to feel as normal as possible and be able to fight OCD.  She'll have it all her life and the sooner she can effectively deal with it, the better.

My mother in law is understanding, and has experienced OCD in her own life, although her's presented itself differently.  She was wanting me to reassure Sami when she has the reassuring OCD moments, because it comforted her when she had those moments.  I explained to her (I don't know if she understood) that I can't feed the OCD when it demands that I reassure her.  If I reassure her OCD, it will ask again and again and again.  I think she thought I was being cruel when the OCD wanted reassured that it was okay to touch something, and my answer would be, "Oh, is that mean old OCD bothering you again?" 

Sami knows what she needs.  When my mother in law wanted to tell her it was okay to touch something, Sami would correct her and tell her that she can't do that because it makes the OCD stronger.  Sami told me in private that Grandma has a good heart and has her heart in the right place.  Sami is right, and Grandma really wants her to get better and loves her.  Grandma gets to read the OCD book next so that she can better understand how to help Sami. 

OCD and Medication

Sami's been doing the exposure therapy for her OCD, and it's working, but she has been struggling so much that we've decided to try medication to help her get over the hump.  She spends so much time of the day fighting and resisting the OCD.  She is really trying and winning some battles, but when I mentioned medication she jumped on the idea willingly and said that she wanted the help that medication might bring.

I feel horrible about getting her medication.  What if I had tried a little harder as a mother?  What if I had coached her better?  What if we just tried different exposures?  What if I had given her a couple more days?

We've never had her "officially" documented as having OCD.  I've had personal experience with insurance companies denying me coverage because of a very simple pre-existing condition.  We've gone for years without OCD being written in her medical records just for that reason.  Now that we are going to get mediation, I don't think we'll be able to avoid that anymore. 

Sigh.