Reprecussions of Babysitting

When I babysat last weekend for the six foster children, one bio and my own two, I was exhausted physically and emotionally at the end of the adventure. Who wouldn't after watching two year old twin boys, a three year old boy, a 7 year old boy and 10 year old girl who just found out they were never going back to their mother, a 13 year old OCD boy, and a ten year old bio boy. Babysitting is one thing, but this group of children was different. I blogged once on this, but deleted it because it was too emotionally charged.

I am happy that I was able to do this for a friend, and I'm glad that her kids did well during the weekend. Physically, the children did well. Emotionally, I think that her children did fine as well. I certainly tried to do my best to make sure that they got what they needed for the weekend and that they had a decent time. The problems were with me and my daughters: we were the basket cases.

I wear my feelings on my sleeves. I was even told this by a TAC officer during some Army training once! This weekend was no different, and I saw it in my children as well. We wore our feelings on our sleeves, pants, and underwear.

I have commanded hundreds of Army soldiers successfully. I have successfully dealt with Article 15's, counselings, staff meetings with generals. I was a store manager for several years. I hired and fired people. I had to deal with insane (literally) customers. I was responsible for hundreds of thousands of dollars of Army equipment and merchandise. Nothing prepared me for this babysitting weekend. The girls and I were not emotionally prepared for all the constant fighting, yelling, disruption, interruption, disrespect, fibbing, disobeying, and never-ending bedlam.

Sami has never dealt well with chaos, so I wasn't surprised when she shut down while we were babysitting. I felt bad for her and helped her through it. I just kept her by my side the whole time to help her feel safe. Honestly, I felt exactly the same way and wanted someone to comfort me. I watched Megan, but she just played and did fine and held her own. It turns out that she just put up a great front. The second I started the truck engine to go home, Megan started bawling because she was so happy to leave. She cried most of the way home, and we have a 45 minute trip. I felt horrible putting my children through this. I made a choice to put myself through this, but my children were not given a choice.

I naively thought that this would be a learning experience for my children. I thought that there would be a little chaos but that we would smooth over the bumps as they came. I thought all the children would play and frolic and get along. The problem was that there were no bumps. It was a demolition derby, 24/7, for three solid days. Was it good to show my girls how other children live? I don't know. It's good to know that a stove is hot, but that doesn't mean I want them to touch the burner for three days. I honestly think that my children were emotionally damaged by this weekend and it's going to take some time to heal fully.

My friend called yesterday and asked me if I would babysit the whole weekend again sometime, and I had to tell her that I couldn't, at least not for a long time. I told her that I'm glad I could babysit this past weekend for her, but I would have to think long and hard before I would consider doing a whole weekend again. If I do, I won't take my girls. I felt bad telling her no. I like my friend and would love to be able to help her out, but I emotionally can't handle it. Anyone who knows me knows how impossible it is for me to say no, but this was so important that I just couldn't' say yes.

I always do my best at everything I do, and in this case I did my best. It just wasn't good enough.

Relaxing Week...Until the Nuclear Explosion

At least it feels like a nuclear explosion minus the radiation burns.

The girls and I had a pretty good week. We've been taking it easy, even though we've had some errands to run and projects to complete. It's never perfect, but I'm very happy with my time spent with my girls.

Since Friday morning, I've been babysitting seven children for a friend of mine. Every single one of them is a challenge! I know I would feel that way about anyone's children besides my own, simply because I'm used to the quirks of my own children but not other kids. I love children, but until I get to know them they are a challenge to me under the best of circumstances.

Six of these kids are foster children with their own stories, from a 13 year old boy to two year old twin boys. I felt like I was in the middle of a WWF audience audition! Yelling, arguing, tattling, complaining, disrespect. I've rarely seen anything like it, but then it's been a while since I was in junior high.

I've said it a million times, but everytime I see how other people's children act, I get a whole new respect and admiration for how my own children behave. I have the best children on the face of this Earth, and I am so blessed to have them in my life. I vow to never take them or their behavior for granted again.

Dave in Baghdad

Dave finally got to call yesterday. He was in Baghdad, Iraq, and was awaiting a flight to his new base. His first flight was cancelled due to a sandstorm, but he may be able to fly out anytime today or later (sand permitting). He sounded like he was in good spirits, but was very tired. Apparently on the really long flight over, he was in the middle seat of the middle row of five seats. Dave is a big guy, so I can't imagine how he managed that one.


The girls have been snippy. Although my girls get along really well most of the time, they do have moments where they get a little "fussy" with each other. Their idea of fighting is to whine at each other about how the other isn't being quite fair. This week has been a little worse, and I think that's because Dave has been gone.

We all miss him and have been brave. The girls outwardly talk about how they miss their Dad while he is in Iraq, but I think that one of their symptoms is being extra fussy, whiny, and snippy. I've cut them a lot of slack, but I'm not letting them get away with too much whining and snipping because I don't want to start a new dichotomy. They are great children and I have no doubt we'll get through this little bubble.

We've got to get a little school work done this morning, before their little cousing comes over for babysitting. Thank goodness it will be a lovely day outside and we can spend some time playing in the yard. Look out, sunscreen! Here we come!