Doing Too Much?

My sweet sister-in-law is in a situation like mine. Her husband (my brother) is working in Alaska. Mine is working in Iraq. She has two girls at home with her. I have two girls home with me. She is trying to be both Mom and Dad. I'm trying to be both Mom and Dad.

She told me to be careful not to overdo it because I would get burned out. In other words, don't try to take on too many tasks that would normally be done by the spouse just to prove you can do it. At least I think that was the point she was trying to make. I got to thinking about everything that I've been doing since Dave has been in Iraq...

• Homeschooling the kids
• Mowing the grass
• Weed eating
• refilling gas cans
• Gardening
• Cleaning the garage
• Cleaning house
• Washing cars
• Mushroom hunting
• Fixing bikes
• Running all over for appointments
• Babysitting occasionally
• Grocery shopping
• Banking
• Paying bills
• Helping at my parents (mowing, yard work)

...this is just a sampling. You get the idea. I finally figured out that I'm not doing anymore than I was doing BEFORE Dave left for Iraq! He always worked so hard and for such long hours with very few days off, that I was the one that was always doing 95% of the housework and yard work and all other work. Dave has never been lazy. Quite the opposite! He worked such awful hours that he would leave the house before the sun was up and come back after dark. There were just no more hours for him to do anything at home, too.

I didn't realize just how much I contributed to the household. I know that being a Homeschooling Mom is a lot of work, but I still get that feeling that I get because I don't contribute financially to the house. After seeing how much I really do that we don't have to hire someone out to do, I guess I do contribute financially by saving us money.

Life and Death

Yesterday we had to put one of our new kittens, Severus Snape, to sleep.

The litter came from a stray, Hermione. She showed up on our deck already three weeks pregnant. We couldn't turn her away, even though we already had enough pets. A little over four weeks ago, she had four kittens and all were apparently healthy. Hermione was dumped (I'm sure) but at least she was well socialized. She bonded with us so well that she gave birth on Dave's lap!

All the kittens were healthy, so we thought. We named them all after Harry Potter characters. Hugo was a little delayed in walking, and Lily had a little eye infection, but those have been working out fine. Rose was first to do everything. Snape was the runt of the litter, but appeared to be okay.

All were doing so well and thriving. That is, they were doing well till Sunday night. Snape was breathing very heavy and looked exhausted, just out of no where. He was panting, but he did eat a little and nursed. I was hoping it was something simple. Animals only get sick in my house on weekends for some reason. By Monday morning he was completely lethargic and cried when he moved or when touched.

After calling a few vets (none were open that early in the morning), Athens Animal Clinic took him in. By the time we got there, he was already near death. He was cold and just laying there. The vet said his heart sounded like he had a congenital heart defect and it just caught up with him. His heart couldn't support his growing body anymore. We put him down and took him home and buried him next to Sweet Pea and Quaba.

The girls were really good about it. They were sad, but they understood why we had to put him down. We did all we could. While he was here, we gave him a great life. He was played with, loved on, cuddled and snuggled. He learned to use the litter box and was able to eat solid food. Even though he was young, he had a good life for a kitten.

The girls learned a lot these 24 hours. Not everything learned in life is academic.

Sleep

Sami and I slept poorly last night. We don't know why...there was no caffeine nor sugar involved. All night long I was laying in bed wishing for sleep, and Sami (laying with me) kept reaching over and asking why she couldn't sleep. I finally got up at 6 AM and paid bills. I'm interested to see which of us will pass out first tonight!

It's been an extremely busy week. We've been out running errands and meeting appointments all week, and it won't stop until about the middle of next week. Sometimes it's nice just to spend a quiet day at home. It's been said by many homeschoolers before: Why do they call it homeschooling if we're never at home?

I've changed tactics (again). Trying some structured unschooling. I'm putting away anything that looks like a worksheet for a while and just giving them tools to explore on their own. This week we broke out the walkie talkies, mushroom hunted, made feather quills and drew and wrote with them, read, played, tried hyroglyphics (sp???)...the list goes on and on. The computer, TV and video games were off limit till late in the day. They seem much happier since I made this change, and they are soooo excited to try everything. They don't complain about the electronics being off limits either, because they are so busy doing everything else.

Unschooling is NOT unparenting. It's giving them freedom to explore on their own.

Math Meltdowns

Oh My Gosh! How in the world does anyone deal with math meltdowns? I'm so sick of dealing with it! I get, not in any particular order...

• crying
• whining
• complaining
• "forgetting" how to do the problems
• not trying unless explained
• running to hide when the math book comes out

What I'm doing in math isn't working for them. I don't want to leave math to the unschooling method. I've tried home-made worksheets, "Math in My World," Singapore, and some Singapore supplements.

They can do the work once explained. If we haven't reviewed it very recently, it's like they don't remember how to do the work at all. Don't even get me started on word problems (but from what I read, that skill is commonly not understood until about age 11).

In my little paranoid world, they are not as far as I think they should be. My paranoid self does not want them to get "behind" their peers. Homeschoolers aren't supposed to worry about keeping up with the Jones, right? I guess I'm a worrier. They are such intelligent, bright and creative children, and I know that they are smart. So why do I worry?

I either need to try something different again, or give it a break and let them develop a little more. I am going to try some manipulatives that a friend suggested (just as soon as we hit a payday). I hope the manipulatives are the trick. Doing theoretical work on paper just doesn't click with them.

Mushrooms!

We've added outdoor nature studies to our schedule. Translated: We went Morel mushroom hunting! The girls and I have been twice, and we found a small mess of them. We gave a small mess to my parents, and I fried up the rest for Megan and me. Sami hasn't eaten any since she ate too many of them about five years ago and threw them up. Poor Sami...at least she still likes to hunt them.

I'm not the best at finding a patch, but luckily there is a small patch that grows behind our house. When we mushroom hunt, we do all kinds of nature studies. We find Dutchman's Breeches, Mayflowers, Jack in the Pulpit, snails, slugs, turkey tracks, deer tracks, creek creatures, hummingbird moths...it makes it hard to concentrate on the Morels!

School Homed

"The Onion" web site had a funny article about children being school-homed. If you have a minute, it's worth the tongue-in-cheek read. http://www.theonion.com/articles/increasing-number-of-parents-opting-to-have-childr,17159/

Yesterday we had a productive school day. The girls are getting over their snippy week, and they did their school work with minimum complaints. Sami is getting over the idea that she needs to do "perfect" work (darned OCD). Megan is learning not to use her whiny voice when doind school work.

My parents came over to visit the kittens (they are nearly 3 weeks old). Mom is trying to get Dad to bond with one so they can take it home when they are big enough. Good luck with that, Mom. We had some home-made pizza, and we split one beer three ways. We're such light-weights. It was so nice out that we spent some time out in the garden swing, where we got to watch a C-130 fly low overhead several times while making runs over Camp Atterbury.

Dave was still in Baghdad as of yesterday, but as I am writing this he may be at his new site in FOB Delta. Looks like a nice place to be. http://www.stripes.com/article.asp?section=104&article=60536

Bird Science and Flowers

We babysat yesterday and I had a lot of paperwork to do, so there wasn't as much time as usual for our schoolwork, but we learned all the same. The girls read for quite a while yesterday-this is big payoff task that is fun for them.

Sami had a science lesson, thanks to the cats. One of them left a bird as an "offering." Sami inspected and manipulated the bird for over an hour. She learned how the wings flex and stretch, how the legs work, what the beak looks like (inside and out), feather structure, and everything else that goes with a hands-on inspection. Some might think it's gross, but this was definately a learning experience.

We went to Dave's parents' for dinner. We then all helped plant a bunch of spring flowers that Pat had picked out. Sami fell in love with a little hyacinth, so Pat let her take it home. We got home after dark, but Sami got out her shovel and planted it in the dark anyway. I can't wait till we get paid next so I can take the girls out to pick out some more flowers...they love playing in the dirt! I love it too.

Megan's sprained ankle (from a week ago) was doing better, but she won't lay off it long enough for it to heal all they way. It was hurting her again last night, so I wrapped it again and gave her some more Motrin. It just seems to "tweak" every now and then.

Dave called yesterday. He is still in Baghdad waiting for a flight out to his base. I'm glad he gets to call and give us updates. I would go insane if I couldn't hear from him for a long period of time! Love you, Dave!

Dave in Baghdad

Dave finally got to call yesterday. He was in Baghdad, Iraq, and was awaiting a flight to his new base. His first flight was cancelled due to a sandstorm, but he may be able to fly out anytime today or later (sand permitting). He sounded like he was in good spirits, but was very tired. Apparently on the really long flight over, he was in the middle seat of the middle row of five seats. Dave is a big guy, so I can't imagine how he managed that one.


The girls have been snippy. Although my girls get along really well most of the time, they do have moments where they get a little "fussy" with each other. Their idea of fighting is to whine at each other about how the other isn't being quite fair. This week has been a little worse, and I think that's because Dave has been gone.

We all miss him and have been brave. The girls outwardly talk about how they miss their Dad while he is in Iraq, but I think that one of their symptoms is being extra fussy, whiny, and snippy. I've cut them a lot of slack, but I'm not letting them get away with too much whining and snipping because I don't want to start a new dichotomy. They are great children and I have no doubt we'll get through this little bubble.

We've got to get a little school work done this morning, before their little cousing comes over for babysitting. Thank goodness it will be a lovely day outside and we can spend some time playing in the yard. Look out, sunscreen! Here we come!

Get Back to a Routine

It's Monday, David has been on his adventure for over a week now, and we are going to attempt to get back into a routine.

What is a routine? In our world, that means getting school done in the morning, and unschooling the rest of the time. Even though I love the idea of unschooling, the OCD part of me thinks that they should have some work that involves actual sit-down time to learn things that are hard to learn while unschooling.

Meg learns very well by unschooling things that involve grammar and spelling. I don't teach her spelling, but she just "knows" how to spell. I rarely catch her spelling something incorrectly. Sami has a ways to go in this area, but she was a late reader. I'm just tickled that she's reading and enjoying it!

The sit down part today will involve:

-Math. I'm going to start pushing them a little more in this area. I've been letting them coast because Meg protests so much and it's just too hard to fight her some days, and Sami takes forever by constantly erasing and rewriting her numbers to look "perfect." Dog-gone OCD. Today I took my big-girl pill today and I am going to find a way that will help Meg enjoy math and help Sami relax her standards. They are both good at it, but I am tired of it being so exhausting!

-Grammar. I think proper grammar is important, so we have been using worksheets I found online. Capitalization is the latest topic.

-Logic. A broad area! That's what makes it fun. I use all sorts of worksheets and puzzles that make them THINK. We've been using pattern pages where they have to finish the patterns presented.

-Science. I'm not that happy with what I'm using right now, but it's what we're trying out. It's a public-school book about the body and health. It's just plain old boring. What we've been doing is reading a couple of pages, then going through a "fun" book about the body to supplement. They would rather learn fun and gross things about the body instead of memorizing facts.

-History. We're going to wrap up learning about Thomas Edison. We love living history books.

-Reading. I encourage reading as much as possible. I let them read whatever they want for XX amount of time. Sometimes I have to make Megan pick something besides the instruction booklets for video games, but they love to read. When I tell them it's time to read, they go running for the books and they read past their prescribed time. I love to catch them reading for pleasure throughout the day! I'm also reading the "39 Clues" series to them, the "Sir Gadabout" series, and the "How to Train Your Dragon series" (again).

After school today, I want to head to the parents' house and paint their window frames and deck. Remind me to take some Tylenol before I start for my aching body!

Yesterday was their day off, but it wasn't mine. I did the obligatory dishes, laundry and house cleaning. I also cleaned the garage, mowed the lawn, sprayed weed killer over what felt like a square mile, finished the parents' taxes, and made home-made biscuits and gravy for dinner. It was a busy but satisfying day. Dave's parents came over after their mini trip to visit Pat's sister. They bought the girls an outfit each (Sami actually liked it!) and I got a pretty blouse. Thank God for great in-laws!

The busier we stay, the less we fret over Dave being gone. We miss him, but I'm keeping us busy so we don't dwell on it. I keep my chin up for the girls, and when they (especially Sami) get clingy, we ramp it up and get to playing and get distracted again.

By they way, the MY TAXES ARE DONE!!!!! What a nightmare.

Time to Start This Up Again...

Since my DH is in Iraq now, I thought this would be a good way to keep him up to date on what his homeschooling family is doing back home in Indiana. Life has been so busy, that I just haven't taken the time to add to this blog since some time in 2008. I hope this isn't the only one in 2010!

I Facebook a lot, and that has taken the place of blogging for me. The trouble with Facebook is that it leaves very little room for detail. And some of those details just aren't Facebook material.

So what has happened recently?

1. Dave has taken a civilian job in IRAQ. He will be gone about a year, but does get to come home every four months for leave. He will be working along side American soldiers. Why would someone work so far from his family? After much praying and discussion, we think that this is what God has intended for us to get us where we need to be financially, and by extension, emotionally. Stress about money is a terrible thing, even if we don't fight about it. Money stress is always lurking over our shoulders and is keeping us from being in an emotionally secure place where we can just relax and enjoy life. So temporarily we are trading our financial/emotional stress for just emotional stress. While money isn't everything, this job will get us where we need to be for the rest of our lives. If you know ANYTHING about Dave Ramsey, you know exactly what we are talking about.

We have a strong and loving marriage. We are looking at this next year as an adventure and we are not feeling sorry for ourselves. That's not to say that we won't miss each other. We definately will. But we will get through this.

2. The girls miss their Daddy (he's a real hands-on kind of Dad), but they are strong and they are adjusting well. They stress out a little easier right now, and things that normally don't bother them have been causing emotional distress ( small meltdowns). All in all, they have done remarkably well.

3. Homeschooling will continue, but I don't know if I want to continue as normal. If you know my family at all, we are half unschool/half traditional homeschool. I think I am going to kick it up a notch and see just where we can be. I dont' want to impress anyone else, or keep up with anyone else, but I think we can be further than where we are today. It will be harder, because my honey-do list is now my own to-do list, but we'll get it done.