Happy Birthday, Sami!

Sami's 11th birthday was Sunday.  We wish her Daddy were here and not in Iraq, but she had a great time and enjoyed her time with her friends and family.

She really liked getting her Webkinz Sherbet Bunny.  She has wanted that bunny for three years now, so I finally relented and let her have it.  I had to get it on Ebay, and the prices have finally come down a little.  She understood that it would take a big chunk of her present budget, but it's been her wish to have one for so long. 

While she enjoyed all her presents, she really liked getting a cake from her Aunt Cindy that looked just like the one that Harry Potter got on his 11th birthday from Hagrid, and she and her sister have been wearing their new Hogwarts House hats that my friend Christy made for them (Sami has Griffindor and Megan has Ravenclaw).  

Sewing Lessons

I'm finally getting around to showing pictures of our quilt progress.  The girls have been taking over a lot more of the responsibilities of their quilts, and Amy and I are backing away more and more.  We just sit with them, tell them what to do, and watch their progress so that they don't do something horribly wrong.

Sami is surprisingly good at using the sewing machine.  Megan is learning patience and sticking with something, even after it gets "boring."  I'm learning to back off and let the girls do their own work, even if it means that it won't be exactly as I envisioned it.

These are pictures of the girls putting their quilt backs together.  The fabric wasn't large enough to cover the entire back, so they are piecing together four big rectangles with a plus-sign in the middle.  Our next sewing lesson will be pinning the quilt top to the batting and back.  

Knitting

My sister showed me the very basics of knitting a few years ago, and a friend of mine has been knitting like crazy, so I've decided to try  knitting again. 

I'm not making anything official yet, but I've been practicing making swatches.   I've managed to make a button hole and a basket weave.  I've learned to live with the mistakes while I'm learning.  I've been learning how to correct mistakes now that I've gotten more practice.  I've also learned that there are certain yarns that are terrible to work with (at least for a beginner), and some that are more forgiving.  I wish I knew what the yarns were so that I can avoid them in the future, but they are freebies from my sister without packaging so I have no idea what I'm working with.
 

Basic seed stitch.

Knitting every row.  See the holes where the yarn got twisted?  This was a cotton type yarn that didn't knit very well, but I like the way that it feels. 

Alternating rows of knitting, ribbing, seed, double rib and a button hole.  This was a wool type yarn that was a little more forgiving, but I think it was blended with something so it didn't stretch well and was scratchy. 

This is a basket weave I'm trying so that I can learn how to read patterns.  It's a cheap acrylic yarn, but it stretches easily  for a beginner. 

The Zoo

We had a perfect weather day here in Indiana, so we made a field trip to the zoo.  The girls had a blast, they got to spend some time with their cousins and uncle, and I got some much needed sunshine to boost my spirits. 

Beating OCD

The OCD medication is continuing to work it's magic on Sami.  She's done many things this week that would have paralyzed her just a couple of weeks ago, such as walking barefoot outside, walking on the back deck barefooted, taking a bath instead of a shower, going to the zoo, using a public restroom, touching the car, wearing flip-flops, and using shower soap.  The old Sami is coming back. 

She's been doing activities on her exposures list (OCD map).  The medicine makes it easier to try the scary things, and I hope that these exposures will make her stronger for the day that she weans off the medication in the far future.

OCD and Medication...It's Working

So far, so good on the medication.  Even at the low starting dose, I can see a difference in Sami.  She wore flip-flops, she's been laying on the ground and burying herself in stuffed toys from the garage box, and she's been able to calm herself down when OCD does try to spiral out of control.  She's turning back into the pre-OCD Sami.  The OCD isn't gone, but it's more manageable. 

I know that the medication in itself is not the answer, and we'll have to continue with exposure and CBT.  The medicine has turned out to be a nice addition to our arsenal to fight OCD and get it at a reasonable level.   I just want her to feel as normal as possible and be able to fight OCD.  She'll have it all her life and the sooner she can effectively deal with it, the better.

My mother in law is understanding, and has experienced OCD in her own life, although her's presented itself differently.  She was wanting me to reassure Sami when she has the reassuring OCD moments, because it comforted her when she had those moments.  I explained to her (I don't know if she understood) that I can't feed the OCD when it demands that I reassure her.  If I reassure her OCD, it will ask again and again and again.  I think she thought I was being cruel when the OCD wanted reassured that it was okay to touch something, and my answer would be, "Oh, is that mean old OCD bothering you again?" 

Sami knows what she needs.  When my mother in law wanted to tell her it was okay to touch something, Sami would correct her and tell her that she can't do that because it makes the OCD stronger.  Sami told me in private that Grandma has a good heart and has her heart in the right place.  Sami is right, and Grandma really wants her to get better and loves her.  Grandma gets to read the OCD book next so that she can better understand how to help Sami. 

OCD and Medication

Sami's doctor's visit went fine.  The nurse practitioner agreed with me about starting Sami on a low dose of medication to help her in defeating OCD.  I already knew what I wanted Sami to take, and that was exactly what the NP recommended.  I really like our NP.  She really understand us and our needs. 

When I called my mother-in-law to tell her, I mentioned that I keep thinking that if I tried harder then maybe she wouldn't need any medication.  Sami heard me say that, came over hugged me, and said, "You did a good job, Mommy.  I just needed a little boost!" 

Out of the mouths of babes. 

She starts taking it tomorrow morning.  Wish us luck! 

OCD and Medication

Sami's been doing the exposure therapy for her OCD, and it's working, but she has been struggling so much that we've decided to try medication to help her get over the hump.  She spends so much time of the day fighting and resisting the OCD.  She is really trying and winning some battles, but when I mentioned medication she jumped on the idea willingly and said that she wanted the help that medication might bring.

I feel horrible about getting her medication.  What if I had tried a little harder as a mother?  What if I had coached her better?  What if we just tried different exposures?  What if I had given her a couple more days?

We've never had her "officially" documented as having OCD.  I've had personal experience with insurance companies denying me coverage because of a very simple pre-existing condition.  We've gone for years without OCD being written in her medical records just for that reason.  Now that we are going to get mediation, I don't think we'll be able to avoid that anymore. 

Sigh.