My oldest daughter has always shown a lot of emotion. She is the type to let everyone know how she feels. She doesn't lash out, scream, or announce how she is feeling in words. She shows how she is feeling in her body language.
She has always been prone to crying. When she is confused, upset, sad, angry...pretty much any negative emotion...she cries. Now that she is ten and her body is going through numerous changes, the crying has increased. It would seem that she is on an emotional set of scales, and it is balanced just evenly, and anything that tips it starts the crying.
She is also finding it difficult to find balance in knowing what is and isn't a real problem. She appears to be looking for fault in everything, and makes big problems where no problems exist (at least not big problems) so that she can complain about it and have a "rational" excuse to be upset.
For example, when we were at the pool yesterday, she was putting on her brand new swimming goggles (she lost the last ones two days earlier, but that's another story). She just couldn't get them to fit right. After five minutes of finding fault with every aspect of her new goggles, she put on mine that she really likes. After swimming for five minutes, she brought them back saying that she just couldn't see clearly out of them. They were fogging, or there was sun screen smeared on them, or something that just didn't matter. She layed on the lounge chair and pouted and cried quietly for a few minutes. We "talked" (meaning that I talked and she listened) about how this wasn't a big of a deal, and she should be happy about what is going right.
I wouldn't let her back in the water until she calmed down and felt better. Once she did calm down, she decided to swim without any goggles and was happy then. She announced that she felt better, and I could tell by her body language that she did indeed feel better. She just needed to get her feelings out. I did manage to get her new goggles adjusted, and then she was happy with those, too. She was happy the rest of the day.
We've been going through this nearly every day. If it's not swim goggles, it's food. Or clothes. Or shoes. Or toys. Or TV. Or a game. Or a book. She is searching for something to blame her emotions on so that she doesn't have to feel this lousy with her new hormones on her own merit. If she blames something else for making her feel this way, then it won't be her fault.
We've been talking about all the changes that her body is going through, and that her hormones are wreaking havoc on her emotions. She doesn't think it's right nor fair that she should have to feel this lousy just because she is becoming a young woman. I don't enjoy these emotions myself, but I explained to her that God made women emotional and loving so that we would love and nurture our families. Understanding the problem is the first step to dealing with it, but it's too early for her to see the benefits of feeling strong emotions.
I am very grateful that she has not been nasty or hateful when she feels bad. That would make dealing with this much worse. We will get through this. She is a good girl and a loving girl. I feel bad that she is struggling with her hormones. I have trouble with my hormones as well, so I am able to help her understand them from an experienced point of view. We will get through this with much patience and love.
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