The girls are getting through their 4-H projects quite nicely. Sami has five projects, and Megan has four. While initially I thought that they chose too many projects, I wanted them to learn that choices have consequences. It turns out that, while they are working like little demons to get their projects done, they are enjoying making their projects very much, even with the deadlines. I'm very proud of their good attitudes in making their projects, even if they hate the paperwork.
I've been pretty proud of me this year, too. At least as far as their projects are concerned. I've managed to stay out of their way and just give them the tools they need to get the job done. I've helped where help was asked, and given advice when it was obvious that it was needed. I started giving unsolicited advice a couple of times, and it completely backfired. They need to do their projects their way, both for their self confidence and for the actual judging at the fair.
I could see myself easily turning into one of those parents that does a project for the kids, just so it looks like what I would want it to look like. Have you seen that Subaru commercial, where the Boy Scouts built and raced little wooden cars? The kid in the commercial built his own car, and it wasn't perfect; another kid had his "perfect" car handed to him by his parent, implying that the parent did it for him. I hate those types of parents, and yet I wanted to do it soooooo badly.
Do I feel that way because I want them to succeed? Obviously, if I do it for them, they aren't succeeding at all. We would all fail. So why do I still get the urge to jump in and help where it isn't needed? I guess I want us to look good and impress other people. Yes, I can be that shallow sometimes. I am human, after all! But I am still growing and maturing, even at 43 years of age.
1 comment:
I know how you feel. I wanted to do the entire project for my girls but instead, I helped and gave some advice so things would turn out nice but let them do the work.
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