Responsibility and Idleness

The other day I was musing that I would like a day off. More specifically, I said that I really, really, really, really, really want a day off. And that I wanted a cleaning fairy to do my chores.

I think that what I really want is a day without responsibilities.

I have so much that I HAVE to do that it makes it difficult to find the time to things that I WANT to do. When I do take time to do things that I want, I feel guilty because there is always something that needs done. I get get a true sense of accomplishment when I meet goals and needs, but the right side of my brain is really neglected.

I often wish that I had at least 200 years to live my life so that surely, in that amount of time, I would get at least some time to do fun "idle" things. I'm already 42 (nearly 43), and I've hardly spent a lick of time on the pursuits that I love, such as painting and writing. I always tell myself that as soon as I get my chores done, then there will be "idle" time to paint and write. I say "idle" in quotes because that was my father's definition. Trouble is, there is always a chore that needs done. Always. Even when I get what I think is an adequate amount of work done, then I'm exhausted.

My father was taught at a very early age that being "idle" was bad. In his family's definition, "idle" meant anything that wasn't a chore. The farm he grew up on had mounds of work to finish every day, and having time for other pursuits were not allowed. That's not to say he didn't have fun, but I think the fun was a by-product, and not an actual goal. To this day, my father can't read a fiction novel, because it isn't a good use of reading time. He gets so mad when my mother reads fiction novels because, in his opinion, there is nothing factual and therefore they are a waste of time.

With me and my siblings growing up, he taught us those same values. He would guilt us and nag us and shame us for sitting and watching TV, reading, crafting, or whatever until we got up and did something useful for the house. It was hard to watch cartoons on Saturday mornings when we were off from school; Dad was always there telling us what a waste of time it was. He was always very loving and affectionate, but he just couldn't sit and do nothing without guilt, and he taught me the same thing.

Now, what am I going to do with the rest of my life? I've got a battle to fight in my own head. I've got to get my priorities straight. I've already been letting my own children craft and read and play. I know how important that time is and how valuable it is. What about me? I've got to balance us out so that they do clean up their own messes instead of me cleaning up their messes, so that I can have time to play, too.

I see how much joy that the "idle" time brings. I see how it lights them up from the inside, and I know how that feels. It puts my brain in a completely different mode. The right side of the brain is electric. I "see" things differently. It's like being in a trance, and being in an altered state. It's a beautiful thing. I miss that.

Channeling Dave Ramsey

Dave and I started the Dave Ramsey plan a couple of years ago. Dave stumbled upon it by accident one day when he got a set on CD to listen to in the car. He liked what he heard, so I listened too...we were both hooked and became Dave Ramsey junkies. If you want to learn more, read one of his books, listen to his radio show, look him up on Fox News Business Channel, or www.daveramsey.com.

When we first listened, we started our baby step 1 emergency fund and started snowballing our debt. We weren't doing too bad and even managed to pay down some junk, paid off one credit card, paid off a bank loan, and cut up some credit cards. His plan really works!

Unfortunately, the housing market started crashing and it was getting harder and harder to get good paying construction jobs. Making ends meet became priority and the debt snowball got put in the freezer to ride out the storm. We muddled along but we sure wanted to get that snowball out of the freezer and get it rolling again. The snowball was getting nervous and hadn't been added to for over a year.

Since Dave has been in Iraq working, the snowball is officially rolling again! It's a beautiful snowball, and this month it rolled away American General and our refrigerator. The emergency fund (baby step one) is fully funded again (that's our Murphy Repellent). I love our snowball! We're going to keep kicking the debt to the curb where it belongs.

The girls and I did celebrate a little (we ate out at a restaurant), but the spending is going back to being essentials only. We can't wait to pay off more next month!

Nature Day

We had other plans for Tuesday, but those got changed by circumstances beyond our control. That means we had to plan something else so there wouldn't be a whole day of disappointment. We chose...PARK!

We went to the Brown County State Park. While driving through the park, I saw what looked like two little puff balls in the road. When we got closer, we saw that they were two baby raccoons fighting over a small piece of road kill. The raccoons were so cute, but I explained to the girls how baby animals, no matter how adorable looking, can be vicious and mean. We enjoyed watching them waddle and hiss at each other as they tried to grab the food from each other. I never could tell what they were eating, but it looked like a flat lizard.

We parked near the Nature Center and walked a self-guided trail. We stopped at all the stations and read about what was on the trail. They remembered a lot from the last time we were there, and they learned new words from the brochure. Of course we saw squirrels, chipmunks, and various birds. We brought the nature books we have and were able to identify a cow bird (and how they brood) and a Great Spangled Fritillary butterfly. Sami found a small toad, which was mercifully only played with for about a minute before she set it free.

We got to see two Eastern Box Turtles crawling close to each other. They are endangered in Indiana, therefore we didn't touch them or harass them. If we had, we would have been able to pick them up and see if they were a mating pair. Did you know that it is possible to tell the difference between boy turtles and girl turtles? Before they were endangered, we would turn them over and looks at the shape of their shell bottom. Since we couldn't touch them, we just had to speculate.

At the Nature Center we got to see a big, fat rattle snake and copperhead. They were very active and gave us a good view of their bodies and heads as they moved around their habitats. I always appreciate seeing them in real life, so that it will help me identify them if I see any in my yard. Pictures just can't do these snakes justice. Seeing the real thing and their big, triangle shaped heads will make it easier for me to know when to run screaming if one ever shows up in my yard. Seriously.

Outside the Nature Center, there is a bird feeding area and pond. The girls enjoyed watching a cowbird, and identified it by themselves since we researched it. The cowbird kept looking at itself in the one-way mirror and puffing up to scare away it's mirror-rival. They got to see just how much bird seed one little chipmunk could stuff into it's cheeks. They got to see great big frogs jump way up in the air and attempt to catch dragon flies as they buzzed by. We giggled a lot at these side shows.

I couldn't find my camera before we went, so there are no pictures to add. Bummer.

Swimming Season is Here

The girls can finally quit asking me, "When will the pool be open?" fifty times a day. Even when I told them, they didn't listen and asked again, and again, and again. It wasn't a matter of understanding the calendar (even though I threatened to staple one to their shirts so they would quit asking). They were just so excited and couldn't wait.

Now they are asking, "When can we go to the pool?" I can see that this is going to be the theme this year. Everything is going to revolve around the pool. I just need to set some ground rules, such as:

• I am not a pool toy. Sometimes I don't want someone hanging on my arms and neck giving me "indian burns" from hanging on to my bare skin.
• When I float on my back, that does not mean, "Jump on!"
• I like to relax and read on the lounge chairs. Please give me some relax time. Asking me fifty times to get in the water in a fifteen minute span does not constitute relax time. That goes double if I have to reread the same page six times because of the constant interuptions.
• I have to get in the water at my own speed. Badgering me will not hurry the process. Badgering me merely turns me into a badger who gets vicious in the water.

I do enjoy going to the pool with the girls. They get such a kick out of it. Sami has been jumping off the diving board a few years now, and Megan has been going off the diving board solo this year (she did a couple of years ago, but lost her nerve last year). It's good excercise and fun at the same time.